‘Delhi Haze Gives Me Wheezing Breath, Inflamed Eyes, Sore Throat’
Sheela Singh, a Delhi resident, expresses her anguish and helplessness over the polluted air and smog that engulfs Delhi every winter. Her story:
As the haze settles back over Delhi, a familiar dread washes over me. I am 69 years old. For as long as I can remember, Delhi has been my home, but these last few years, I feel like the very air that I once breathed so freely has turned against me. From October to January, it’s the worst. The city I love becomes a gas chamber, and I’m left struggling to do something as basic as breathing.
I have had asthma for years, but it is the pollution that has made things unbearable. The moment I step outside, the smog hits me. It’s like someone is squeezing my lungs, making it nearly impossible to breathe. My chest feels heavy, my throat itches, and there’s a constant wheeze in my breath. Even walking a few steps makes me stop to catch my breath. It’s not living—it’s just surviving.
I spend most of my time indoors during these months, but even inside, the air isn’t clean. We close the windows, we run air purifiers, but it’s never enough. The pollution still seeps in. I rely on my inhaler far too often, and it’s frightening to think that this might become the norm for me.
What really scares me, though, is how this isn’t just about me. My granddaughter is only 10 years old, and I worry constantly about what kind of future she will have if things don’t change. She should be outside playing, breathing clean air, but instead, she’s trapped inside with me, unable to enjoy her childhood. What kind of world are we leaving for her? Sometimes I lie awake at night, not just because I can’t breathe, but because I can’t shake the worry for her future.
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The worst part is that every year, the same thing happens. The government talks, and politicians point fingers, but nothing really changes. Every time the air gets worse, we hear about stubble burning or vehicle emissions, but where are the real solutions? Just today, I read a report from the ex-director of AIIMS in Delhi, and what he said made my blood run cold. He said more people might die from air pollution than from COVID-19. Can you imagine? A pandemic that brought the world to its knees, and yet the air we breathe could be even deadlier.
It’s not just Delhi anymore either. The entire NCR region is now choking, and even the areas connected to it are feeling the effects. The smoke from stubble burning travels miles, and every year we face the same problem. There’s so much talk, but where’s the action? Why is nothing being done to fix this? Why are we still trapped in this cycle of blame and inaction?
I’m tired. I’m tired of living like this, constantly worrying about whether today’s air will be too dangerous to breathe. I’m tired of being afraid to step outside. And most of all, I’m tired of watching my granddaughter grow up in a world where clean air is becoming a luxury, not a right.
I remember a time when things weren’t this bad. When Delhi was still a city I could enjoy it without fear. Now, it feels like I’m suffocating in the place I’ve called home for so long. I don’t want to leave, but sometimes I wonder how much longer I can go on like this. How much more can my lungs take?
All I want is for things to change—for my granddaughter to grow up in a world where she can run around outside without worrying about what she’s breathing. But until that happens, I’ll keep fighting this battle with every breath I take, hoping that someday, the haze will finally lift.
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As told to Deepti Sharma
