‘Good Parenting Does Not Require You To Be A Helicopter Mom’

Meeta Goyal, the mother of two grown-up children, talks about modern-day parenting and parental discipline. Her views:

If you ask me what parenting is, I would say it is a journey which is different for everybody and like any other journey this one too has its ups and downs. Nobody is a born parent. It is only when a child takes birth that parents are also born. As the child grows, parents also grow and learn.

I have often questioned myself about whether I am a good parent or not. I am often in a dilemma as to what kind of example am I setting for my children because I am aware of my actions and reactions. As a parent, my speech and expressions and body language are constantly being watched and analysed, not just by the people around me but also by my own children. 

The performance pressure which was earlier on kids has now been bestowed upon parents as well. It has become so difficult these days to be a perfect parent that you feel you are being judged all the time. It is very easy to judge a parent but it is so difficult to be one. 

I feel we can set examples for our children in different ways. It is not important to always sit with your child and do what you want your child to do. We can set examples by showing them how to handle different things and how to do things their own way and how to be independent.

ALSO READ: ‘Parenting Is Not Framing Rules, But Leading By Exmple’

I feel these days, children are very smart. They just don’t rely on parents to learn everything. They have so many other options where they can learn good or bad things. So as parents I think it is important that we inculcate feelings, emotions, empathy and care in our children. It is important to make children understand why parents are busy, the importance and value of earning money the hard way and the struggles associated with it. At no point must a child feel that money comes easy or will come easy later on.  

The society, on the other hand, should not judge a parent or a household because everyone’s circumstances and situations are different. What may be feasible for one family may not be viable for another. That also applies to parenting. Times have changed.

Being a 90’s kid myself, I have seen things changing very fast. Lifestyle has changed, parenting has changed, every thing has changed. Now I am a member of the boomer club (a millennial phrase) struggling to maintain balance between the 90s and the millennial thinking.

Frankly, for the longest time I have stopped caring about anybody’s opinion except that of my children. When I compare myself to younger moms, I feel guilty about not having done much for my children. It took me time to be a supportive and understanding mother and I think I am still struggling. Sometimes I feel left behind. I feel I could not keep pace with the changing world around me. I just wish I could go back into time and mend my mistakes. But I no longer aspire to be a better mom. I have always loved my kids and they mean the world to me. I just wish I could set a better example for my kids. But I am proud that I get to learn so much from them.

For more details visit us: https://lokmarg.com/

As told to Deepa Gupta