‘Grey Divorces More Common Among Rich; Parting In Advanced Years A Painful Step’
Nisheeth Mishra, a lawyer in the Lucknow Bench of Allahabad High Court and an expert in family matters, says increasing cases of grey divorce is a worrying trend. His views:
There has been an increase in this phenomenon over the past few decades, as the rate of divorce among this age group has doubled since the 1990s. No doubt that marital separation at any age is a painful decision, but grey divorces particularly have unique emotional, social, and financial implications. For, a separation at later stage of one’s life can be draining.
What I could perceive is that there could be mainly five important reasons why couples take such a harsh decision in the later part of their life. This include financial stress, changing societal attitudes, unfulfilled expectations and empty nest syndromes (when children grow up and leave their parents behind) and, to a bit, increased life expectancy due to a better and more disciplined lifestyle.
In well-to-do couples (where this phenomenon is more predominant) financial independence could be termed as the most important factor. When you’re working, it’s easy to lose track of your partner’s spending habits or financial provisions because a regular salary is coming in. However, when that salary comes to an end, there may be a realization that starting a new chapter could provide a more secure financial future.
Although, the rate of divorce in India is one of the lowest in the world (as data suggest it to be around 0.01 in 1,000 people), more people in the 50s are now seeking legal assistance for separation and this is more common in couples whose children are well settled and they no longer have dependent adults to take care of.
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The other aspect that I have noticed that women, in the later part of their life, are now living more independently and seeing younger and the empowered woman as their role model. They realize that they too can have a life of their own – and in this part of their life, with or without the obligation of having a companion for the rest of their life. Another reason for women opting for it is the rapid urbanization and increased work opportunities at any point of life as they have now started to break free and depend less on their spouses for financial support.
The idea of separation in the later stage of life can both be daunting and liberating. In my personal opinion, it should be ensured, from both parties, that life goes on smoothly for either of them. There should always be an assessment of any kind of relationship before calling it off as it is going to impact both the persons for the rest of their life. If a separation is not evitable, the couple must chalk out (it’s good if it is in black and white) the important aspects of the future life like sharing of responsibilities (towards family members), asset division, legal implementations and the long term impact as old age comes with its own set of challenges.
Though the lower and the middle class are yet to be impacted by this relatively new phenomenon, it is advisable, by most of us Indians, to avoid any kind of decision that could disturb you and your emotions for the remaining part of your life.
As told to Rajat Rai
