‘If Your Job Is Causing You Mental Stress, Dump It’

Gauri Joshi, a media educator and a former business reporter, changed six jobs in three years due to workplace toxicity. Her two cents for professionals struggling at work:

My first job was as a consultant for a leading PR agency, where we had four clients in the technology space. The first eight to nine months leading up to the completion of my probation were a dream: I could avail training, team culture and had supporting mentors as seniors. And then the reality knocked at my door.

As work load increased, I faced my first burnout. I wanted to request my seniors not to burden me with another client or more work but I was scared that as a rookie, this would hurt my growth. The load kept mounting. It was so overwhelming that I was clocking 15 hours a day. One evening, I suffered a panic attack. Thankfully, my mother was by my side.

I realised I needed help. During my therapy sessions, I found out what had gone wrong. I was honest and surcharged at work. I used to think my team would collapse if I didn’t turn up at office. My therapist helped me realise that my job was not my identity; I needed to be detached. Detachment from the role is tough in journalism and PR, but phone detox really helped, so did taking trips to other places.

I moved on to be a journalist. But that turned an out-of-the-firepan-into-the-fire kind of move. Although my start as a journalist was a breeze but what came as a cost to ambition was one of the most toxic newsrooms in the media world. In less than four months into the job, I was suicidal. My face had bloated; I suffered anxiety attacks; my eyes looked drugged and I didn’t feel like waking up. My partner had to step in and coerce me into resigning.

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I took two weeks off after a severe burnout incident, and relished slow eating, talking to people not related to my work and also joined Zumba. Dance helped me cope with stress. I also joined a swimming class, and started meeting friends more often. I learnt that colleagues were not always your friends; HR department is not paid for your wellbeing; its loyalty lies towards the boss.

Currently, I am recovering from cortisol spikes. And I am happy being a school teacher now. Teaching is my ikigai – a reason for living. I also took up consultancy and started working on my start-up and a book so that I don’t confine myself to one role. My constant has been my family and my partner.

Hustle culture is lauded in India. Everyone thinks the employee hopping jobs is a problem, they don’t understand toxic clients or bosses as the reason for attrition. I had six jobs in three years, and this earned me a reputation. But I have learnt that that if your workplace is causing you stress, you have only one option: Leave it.

That’s my only advice. Your life is more precious than any job. I once turned down a handsome offer only because I had double-checked on Glassdoor and with my friends about its toxic work culture. In toxic environments, you will meet predators, sexual offenders, narcissists and gas-lighters who will make you feel like a cretin. Run away quick and fast. There is nothing more important in life than your physical and mental wellbeing.

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As told to Mamta Sharma