‘Professional Support Is Crucial For Raising A Child With Disability’

Surabhi Bhanot, a psychologist and mindfulness coach, says bringing up children with a disability can be challenging for most parents but with expert guidance they can thrive in their personal and professional lives. On World Disability Day, she offers useful advice:

Parents of children with disabilities often face concerns about societal perceptions and their child’s interactions with peers. As a parent of a child with a disability, one of the first things I would recommend that parents must educate themselves. Understanding your child’s specific disability is crucial. For example, the needs of a child with dyslexia are very different from those of a child with autism or ADHD. Only by grasping the situation fully can you start raising awareness about your child’s needs and share the right information with teachers, peers, and others involved in your child’s life. Accurate knowledge can help dispel misconceptions and create a more inclusive environment.

It’s also vital to find the right support system for your child. This doesn’t mean gathering a large group of people, but rather connecting with individuals who are informed and have the right intentions. I have found that instead of relying on close relatives, who might offer well-meaning but sometimes misguided advice, it’s far more helpful to consult medical professionals and counsellors. They can guide you on the best approaches to support your child.

One of the hardest parts of this journey is dealing with negativity, especially from family members or close friends who may not understand. It’s important to set boundaries with these individuals. Their attitudes can impact both the child and you, and managing those relationships in a healthy way is crucial for emotional well-being in the long term.

Another key aspect is focusing on your child’s strengths and abilities. I have seen many parents force their children to focus only on academics, neglecting creative talents like music, painting, or cooking. But these abilities are just as important. If your child excels in any of these areas, encourage them. You might be surprised by what they can achieve when nurtured.

Educating your child about their disability is another important step. Teaching them about their condition allows them to explain it to their peers and handle social situations with confidence. This kind of self-awareness can reduce feelings of frustration and help them advocate for themselves, which is incredibly empowering.

As parents, it’s also important to celebrate every small victory. Using positive language and affirmations helps build a growth mindset and reinforces the child’s sense of progress. Recognising these moments is vital to maintaining hope and motivation for both the child and the parent.

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When it comes to managing your own emotions, it’s essential for both parents to be on the same page. At times, it’s easy to blame each other or feel overwhelmed. But that only leads to more stress. Open communication and mutual understanding between both parents are key. It’s also important to avoid feelings of guilt. As parents, we all have moments of doubt, but it’s important to remember that mistakes are part of the process. We can always improve and adjust as we go along.

Seeking professional help, such as family counselling, can also be helpful. Sometimes, having an outside perspective can give you the tools you need to navigate the emotional challenges that arise. It’s equally important for both parents to practice self-care, though this is often overlooked. One parent, often the mother, becomes the primary caregiver while the other focuses on financial responsibilities. But both parents need to find time for themselves—whether through hobbies, social activities, or simply taking a break. Self-care is not selfish; it’s necessary for long-term well-being.

As children grow, parents often struggle with balancing support and independence. It’s natural to want to protect your child from making mistakes, but it’s important to let them make their own decisions, even at a young age. Over time, you need to step back and allow them to take more responsibility. The key is to respect their choices, even when they differ from your own. It’s about fostering confidence in their decision-making abilities.

Teaching coping mechanisms is also vital. Simple techniques like deep breathing, counting backward, or mindfulness exercises can help children manage stress and navigate difficult situations with more resilience. These skills not only benefit them in the moment but also in the long term as they develop emotional resilience.

Lastly, it’s crucial for parents to prioritise their own well-being. Often, we put our child’s needs first, which can be exhausting and lead to burnout. Taking care of yourself isn’t just about taking a break; it’s about ensuring you have the energy and emotional capacity to be the best support system for your child. Socialising, pursuing hobbies, exercising, maintaining a healthy diet, and getting enough rest all contribute to a parent’s mental well-being. Building a strong support network and finding time for self-care routines like daily breaks or date nights with your partner can make a significant difference.

Caring for a child with a disability is undoubtedly challenging, but with the right support, education, and balance, it’s possible to create an environment where both the child and parents can thrive.

As told to Mamta Sharma