‘Parenting Is Not About Laying Down Rules, But Leading By Example’
Neeti Srivastava, a mother of two grown-ups, says children easily pick up the subtle differences between what we preach and what we practice. Her views:
As a mother of two grown-up sons, I often reflect on the many lessons I learned while raising them. One idea that resonates deeply with me comes from IT icon Narayanmurthy, who stressed that we cannot expect our children to study diligently if we ourselves indulge in leisure activities like watching TV. His words struck a chord because, as parents, our children are our mirrors. They learn more from what we do than from what we say. Over the years, this truth became the foundation of my parenting approach.
Children are remarkably observant. From a young age, they pick up the subtle differences between what we preach and what we practice. When my sons were little, I realized that if I wanted them to develop good habits, like being disciplined and responsible, I had to model those qualities myself. I couldn’t sit on the couch watching TV and expect them to study diligently. It was important that I, too, showed the discipline of reading, working on tasks, or even engaging in meaningful conversations with them.
This conscious choice to lead by example had a profound impact. When I sat down with a book or focused on my work, I found that my sons were more likely to complete their homework or study without complaint. By creating an environment where learning was seen as valuable, not just for them but for all of us, they began to understand that education and self-improvement were lifelong pursuits, not chores to be completed just to please a parent or teacher.
The ripple effect of leading by example extended beyond academics. My sons watched how I managed my time, how I handled stress, and how I set and achieved goals. These were crucial lessons that shaped their approach to life as they grew older. I knew that teaching them how to
organize their time, set priorities, and remain focused on long-term goals would be far more valuable than any lecture I could give. They learned to regulate themselves, manage their responsibilities, and handle their successes and failures with grace.
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By embodying the values of hard work and perseverance, I aimed to show my sons that success doesn’t come from shortcuts. It comes from consistent effort, patience, and determination. They saw firsthand that goals, whether academic or personal, required commitment and that setbacks were a natural part of any journey. These lessons, I believe, helped them become the responsible, motivated individuals they are today.
Narayanmurthy’s words are a reminder that our role as parents is not just to enforce rules but to live by the standards we set for our children. Trust and credibility in parenting are built when we practice what we preach. When we show self-discipline, we encourage it in our children. When we work hard, we demonstrate the value of perseverance. And when we embrace growth, we cultivate a love for learning in them.
As I look back on my parenting journey, I realize that one of the most important forms of discipline is self-discipline. By refining myself and living according to the values I wanted to instill, I not only helped shape my sons into responsible adults but also grew personally. We, as parents, have an incredible responsibility to lead by example, and through this, we can truly raise responsible, capable citizens of the world.
As told to Deepti Sharma
