‘Patriarchy Affects Both Men & Women, Nirmala Tai Must Recognise That’
Sherene Annabel, a marketing professional and an IIMB graduate, says a few exceptional women may have broken the glass ceiling, but that’s not the norm. Her views:
During an interactive session with students in Bengaluru, Union Finance Minister Nirmala Sitharaman urged young women to rethink the impact of patriarchy on their ambitions, urging them to seize the unique support systems India offers. “Don’t get carried away by jargons like ‘patriarchy stopping us,'” she advised, emphasising that with confidence and logic, women can thrive in any field.
Well, patriarchy is not a jargon. Let me just refer to the Oxford Dictionary for a moment to clarify what it says. It defines jargon as a special word or expression used by a group that is hard for others to comprehend. But I don’t think patriarchy is hard to understand for women, because we face it every day in almost everything we do. That’s how society has evolved, centered around patriarchy. Sure, there might be some exceptions in certain societies, but for the majority of us, patriarchy is a deeply ingrained part of our lives. So, calling it a jargon seems to miss the point entirely. That’s the first thing we need to acknowledge.
Second, the “What about me?” narrative doesn’t really help anyone who’s affected by patriarchy. For instance, when we hear, “What about Indira Gandhi becoming the Prime Minister? What about XYZ?” we need to look at the broader picture and consider the larger percentage of people who are truly affected. A few exceptional women may have broken the glass ceiling, but that’s not the reality for the majority. Now, it is a woman’s choice whether she wants to prioritise her career, focus on her home, or pursue any other path. But the question we should ask is: is it really a choice for men? That’s where the issue lies.
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Patriarchy affects both men and women, and that’s something we need to recognise. Men often don’t have the freedom of choice either because they are expected to prioritise their careers; that’s how they’re raised. We don’t see stay-at-home husbands as a norm, do we? While it may be gaining some acceptance in Western societies, it’s certainly not a common practice in India. There are very few examples of men who take a step back to allow their wives to advance in their careers.
And that’s why this conversation is so important — it needs to change. It’s crucial for us to address patriarchy because that’s when real change can happen. Now, it’s ultimately up to a couple to decide whether the man or the woman’s career will take precedence, and I understand that this decision comes with choices and discussions. But the fact that we can’t have these conversations is problematic. When a Union Finance Minister says, “Don’t get carried away by jargons like ‘patriarchy stopping us,’” it reflects a very privileged perspective. She had the resources and tools to get an education, to be where she is today. Not everyone has those privileges. In fact, in many parts of India, women’s education is still considered insignificant, even in 2024.
This is why we need to keep having these conversations and stress that women’s education is crucial. We need to ensure that both women and men have the choice to decide what matters most to them and pursue opportunities, whether at home or outside the home. The fact that these discussions are being shut down is damaging. It’s important to recognise that we need to empower everyone, regardless of gender, to make the choices that align with their aspirations and circumstances. Let’s not stop having these conversations.
As told to Mamta Sharma
