Tag: Misogny And Ageism

‘We Judge Women When They Rise Against Injustice But Conveniently Forget Their Suffering’

By Lokmarg

Priyanshi Durbha, who works for a start-up in Bengaluru, reflects on how certain women are under public scrutiny for being “too vocal” in matters of alimony. Her views:

For decades together, women have been marginalised. I have personally witnessed women who have been at the receiving end of their in-laws which affected them adversely. As a woman in a corporate set up, I know the percentage of women who have voiced their opinions has always been negligible. It’s been a blessing that some of them go down in history as brave women who chose not to endure the evils of society and fought back.

Take for instance a woman I know, who couldn’t bear children. Her husband didn’t divorce her but for all practical purposes deserted her; since her own family wouldn’t take her back, she was forced to live with her husband separately in a little room with an asbestos roof while her husband married another woman who bore her husband children.

When there is revolution and the balance tipping, or rather resetting, we notice cases emerging where women appear to demand unscrupulous alimony. So before judging a woman’s fight for justice, we also must take in view the social order of the day and the gross injustices being endured silently.

There are always two sides to the story. For every woman who is loud and clear and demanding her share or more, there are women who continue to fight for their rights no matter how deserving.

For the sudden wave of change and generally certain cases gaining the public discourse, there may be unwavering support for men who seem wronged. But then the same public gaze and support were missing when the shoe was on the other foot.

ALSO READ: ‘Troll Can Harass Even MP Mahua, What To Say Of Ordinary Women!’

I believe things are changing for the better. Certain cases will always emerge which are anomalies in a world that has seen abuse of rights, marginalising and not giving women the rightful place they deserve in society.

I would also like to add here that the spotlight on women involved in heinous crimes isn’t just about the crime itself — it’s about how deeply our minds are wired to associate women with care, passivity, and submission. True crime stories time and again reveal that violence stems from complex psychological, social, and circumstantial triggers — not from gender.

When a woman is at the centre of a violent crime case, the public reaction is often sharper, more incredulous. Why? Because it clashes with the image we’ve been conditioned to hold — that women are the gentler sex, incapable of brutality.

But crime doesn’t conform to gendered expectations.

Cases like these challenge us to examine our own biases and to recognise that women, like men, are capable of both nurture and destruction. It’s not about glorifying the crime — it’s about confronting the flawed lens through which we view women. The more we understand that, the closer we come to seeing people — not stereotypes.

As told to Mamta Sharma

‘Mahua Moitra Need Not Conform To Trolls Liking; We Need To Introspect’

By Lokmarg

Chetna Sharma, a journalist and academician, says had a male politician remarried, danced at his sangeet, we would have cheered him on. Her views:

I have spent years reporting from newsrooms, sitting under studio lights, and now teaching young minds about media and society. But no textbook, no panel discussion ever quite prepares you for the raw, bitter truth that some stories reveal about who we are as a people. The trolling of Mahua Moitra after her recent marriage was one such moment — uncomfortable, ugly, and deeply telling.

She was simply celebrating her happiness — dancing, smiling, being herself. That’s all. But that image of joy triggered a wave of harsh comments, age-shaming, and misogynistic jabs online. Why? Because she got married in her 40s? Because she looked too happy for a woman who didn’t “follow the script”?

I watched those clips like many others, and my first reaction wasn’t outrage — it was sadness. Not for Mahua — she’s strong and seasoned — but for us, the society that still sees a happy, independent woman as something threatening.

Let’s be honest: if a male politician had remarried, danced at his sangeet, we would have cheered him on. “What a sport!” we’d say. “Good for him!” But a woman? Oh no, she must be “attention-seeking”, “too old”, “trying too hard.” The double standards are exhausting — and very, very real.

As someone who teaches media, I often speak about representation, about how public narratives shape our understanding of gender and power. But when social media reacts like this, it reminds me that all our talk of progress still hasn’t reached the hearts of many. Because when a woman steps out of the narrow lane society draws for her, she isn’t just questioned — she’s punished.

ALSO READ: ‘If Trolls Can Harass An MP, What To Talk Of Ordinary Women!’

It’s not about whether you agree with Mahua Moitra’s politics. This is about how we still treat women who don’t apologise for living life on their own terms. The trolling wasn’t about her role as a leader — it was about her role as a woman who dared to look happy, and at peace, in her own skin.

And that’s what’s most painful. A woman in public life is expected to be tough but not too loud, smart but not threatening, present but not personal. If she celebrates — she’s mocked. If she’s emotional — she’s weak. If she marries “too late” — she’s desperate. What is ever enough?

As a journalist, I’ve interviewed countless women — in power, in pain, in transition. The one thing they all shared was a constant pressure to explain themselves. Mahua’s only “mistake” was refusing to explain her joy.

It’s high time we asked ourselves: what kind of society are we becoming, where a woman’s laughter invites insults? Where celebrating life becomes a political act?

Mahua Moitra doesn’t need defending — she’s already owning her story. But we need reflection. And change. Because until we stop punishing women for their joy, we can’t truly call ourselves progressive.

Let her dance. Let her smile. Let her live. Isn’t that what all of us want?

(The narrator has worked as TV News Anchor with reputed news channels like Gulistan News and JK24*7 News. She is also engaged in teaching and research, contributing to academic publications in the field of media studies)

As told to Deepti Sharma

‘If Trolls Can Harass An MP Like Mahua Moitra, How Do Ordinary Women Survive?’

By LokMarg

Bengaluru-based Aparna Tummalapalli says public gaze on Mahua Moita’s personal life shows how deeply patriarchy and moral policing are embedded in society. Her views:

Trinamool party MP Mahua Moitra has recently been the victim of vicious online trolling regarding her recent nuptials to Pinaki Misra of the BJD party. Several individuals have targeted her for choosing to remarry at a later stage in her life and have even been raising questions about her promiscuous attitudes. What do these online comments say about the mindset of our modern-day society? Is it the long-lasting impact of an established patriarchy, a cultural attitude itself that grant legitimacy to these comments?

To my mind this is a clash of patriarchy and modern-day feminist values. With the advent of modern-day feminism, it is much more acceptable for women to remarry or even have their first marriage later in life. However, India has been slow to adopt these values and has been resistant towards the 21st century liberal ideologies. We often see a clash between the two opposing systems, leading to women being victims of it.

Most individuals are disconcerted and are wary of losing their position of privilege in society as a result of the patriarchy. Hence as a result, project openly sexist behaviours in an attempt to suppress feminism and retain their position of power.

Remarrying in Indian culture: In Indian culture, women are judged based on their ‘purity’, It is often a make-or-break criterion when it comes to arranged marriages, in Indian culture women who are open to exploring their sexuality are often looked down upon or seen as loose. Moreover, marriage is viewed as an extremely sanctimonious institution, and choosing to remarry can be seen as a deliberate violation of that sanctity.

ALSO READ: ‘Chiranjeevi’s Comments Reflect Deep-Rooted Misogyny’

Most individuals would assume that the majority of the online trolls are men. However a quick inspection show a different story. In equal parts, men and women are trolling and subjecting her to sexist remarks. What does this say about women in India and their approach to feminism? Why is it that they are not standing up for a fellow woman who is being subjected to blatant chauvinism?

Misogyny is so ingrained in our society, that even women don’t spare their kin. Feminism is seen as an aggressive, uncompromising and, at times, illogical system of belief that portrays all men in a negative light.

However, this couldn’t be farther from the truth, real feminism is all about equally uplifting all sections in society and working in tandem to achieve unity, the small pockets of neo-feminism and tone-deaf opinions of extremist feminist figures are not to be taken as representation of an entire ideology.

Another vice in today’s age is ageism; people believe that our lives must follow a defined path that is dictated by age restrictions and social norms. Most people have a misplaced belief that at an older age one must have their entire life sorted, and must be “settled down” in order to ease through the final stages of life. However every individual is different, and every individual approaches their life differently, as a society we must accept that regardless of age people are free to make choices that satisfy them, be it following their passion or even pursuing marriage. These attacks also expose the deeper cultural fabric of society, as a culture that is extremely rigid in its ways.

The attacks against Moitra shows a reflection of a society that is still seeped in sexism, atheism and a rigidity to accept new age values. If women in power and influence are subject to such vitriol, then it is safe to hazard a guess about what common women are subject to. It’s perhaps a patriarchal tendency to keep women as muted, restrained and asexual.
The ascetic woman is what society wants!

Public performance of virtue, honour is what even the independent woman is expected to stand by.

As told to Mamta Sharma