It took me four weeks to get to the fourth sentence in my proposed lengthy commendation for President Donald Trump for the Nobel Prize, in the hope I will be invited to the White House and be feted like the smiley neighbourhood ruler, Asim Munir (Field Marshall of course). Then just as I put a dot to the sentence and was getting to the fifth sentence, my phone social media went ping, ping, ping and more pings. Trump had invaded Venezuela. Not only that, he extricated Venezuela’s President, Maduro. Some call it kidnap, illegal, against international law, end of the Europe’s beloved rule based order etc etc. Social media is full of this ‘faked, fake news’. Is a double negative a positive? Is it faked that action is illegal is a fake news?
It is a personal dilemma for me. I have to start the commendation all over again. May have to do a lot of spin doctoring! Will the Nobel Committee even look at the envelope, let alone read the commendation! There goes my attempt to upstage Munir!
But Eureka moment! They did give Nobel to Obama, just as he put his first polished shoe into White House. Immediately after getting the plaque to hang on to the wall, now probably demolished to make way for Trump to learn ballet, Obama felt ‘freedom’ and started bombing the world.
To be fair to Trump, he did hang around for ten months, without engaging in American hobby of full scale ‘isolationist’ intervention wars. That is a term, no political scientist has thought of yet! You read it first here. He tried the peace talks.
But pesky Netanyahu and Hamas and that spoilsport Zelenski egged on by British Starmer have not stopped the wars that Trump was going to end in days and a few months. Even the most patient people lose patience. It’s complicated by the Russian ‘Nyet’ and Saudi Arabian ‘la’.
Trump, a very patient man, after all he hung around all of Biden’s Presidency to bid for another term, must have finally decided that he will make it easy for the Nobel Committee to give him the prize by joining the many others who got the ‘Peace Prize’ after killing sprees. After all Mr Nobel invented the Dynamite that killed many people and then set up the ‘Peace Prize’.
There is Arafat whose leadership of PLO led violence resulted in the frisking of passengers at airports when plane after plane was being hijacked. There is Menachem Begin, who gave the Palestinians sleepless nights and got the Nobel for Peaceful nights. And then Henry Kissinger, the grim reaper of Cambodia and the architect of carpet bombing.
Nelson Mandela also got the Nobel. He was the founder of the armed wing of ANC, and refused to renounce armed ‘resistance’ when he was released. Not sure what his Nobel was for – for remaining peaceful in detention?
And of course there is Aung Sun Suu Kyi, who like Obama, got the prize although before stepping into office, but once in power tacitly approved the genocide of Rohingya.
The Nobel peace prize is very confusing, keeping me awake for nights as I think of redrafting the commendation for the self-confessed Greatest President ever, Donald Trump. All I want in return is to sit at the Oval Office and be thanked. Is the Nobel given once you have done the killing and become pious like Ashoka or is it given just as you get the passcode for the Kill Switch. It’s confusing.
On second hand, I could recommend our greatest unborn but live Neta, for NOT commending the Trump for Nobel, unlike the neighbour. Surely the committee will honour him for integrity. On the other hand they might not. They may not cherish being bear hugged in front of cameras as the Neta collects the Prize and all of Bhakts start hugging every European visiting Bharat Mata. You know how these North Europeans are! They like clinging to someone at night but daytime like to keep distance of a yard.
